Home Sweet Home ...

Woke up this morning @ an unheard of time – 4:45am! But I was excited – I was catching the early flight to home sweet home. Can anything else beat the wonderful sense of homecoming? I was going home! To my Mom and all things fabulous esp the food. Nowhere else can one taste better food than those u grew up with.

After a tasteless mug of MILO (taste buds still sleeping), I rushed to finish the packing – knick knacks that were left undone due to the power blackout last nite. Gee it was lucky that this time around, I did my packing earlier – otherwise, I’d be in deep sh*t. Good old TNB restored power to our area ~1:30am – almost 2 hrs of darkness!

My taxi pal was waiting sleepily for me when I opened the door. He’s a good guy – very reliable and if you wanna, he’ll give his opinion on everything under the sun (I’ve always enjoyed this during the ride to KLIA) but was too sleepy to chat this morning.

After an uneventful flight (no delay, no rushing for seats – airasia mah), we’ve finally arrived. There he was – my brother waiting patiently for me – it was so good to see him. Wanted to give him my customary hug but he was with a biz associate and the moment was gone. Sigh …

After we reached home, Mom n myself went for some breakfast – my standing order – local mee… It was absolutely fabulous!

After b/fast, popped into a shop to get a prepaid internet access starter pack. The dial-up is really slow – first time I logged it, it was just 21.6kbps!! Can u beat that? It was supposed to be 56kbps! What a bummer. At least it’ll get me connected for the month that I’m home.

It was just great to be with Mom – we just jabbered all morning. We talked about our forthcoming trip to China and got nostalgic about our trip there last year. Oh yes, the trip to Japan to watch the cherry blossoms came up, bitch about some old timers who were mean-spirited, and of course the eternal question – do-I-plan-to-get-marry thingy came up - well, generally having a gal-to-gal talk lah.

There’s this sense of wholesomeness whenever I’m home; I’d be as excited as the silly village gals (when they sighted Gaston in the Beauty & the Beast) as the departure date neared and an awful sinking feelin when I had to leave.

At times I asked myself why did I make the decision to leave my hometown and work in the city??? If I had stayed put, I’d not have to experience the separation anxiety.

It wasn’t the bright lights and dusk to dawn parties in the city that attracted me. During my heydays, small time parties were fun too - I’d only come back @ 6am after an all nite-long party!

Leaving home was something I had to do … I had to find out if I can survive on my own; if I can be myself other than my father’s/mom’s daughter, my grandfather’s granddaughter etc …

The journey to find out the answers was not easy but I’ve been enriched by it tremendously. Along the way, I’ve made great friends: among others - one who does retail therapy with me whenever I’m down; another who is a psychologist and dispenses support in a different way and a couple who generally tell me that there’s life in the real forest as opposed to the concrete jungle (no – I’m still NOT goin to hike with them – leeches and crawlies aint no friends of mine. Told them "SPA" is more my kinda word).

I’ve learnt that people are the same everywhere; my identity is still tied up to something/somebody else – she’s the pr lady with that corporation, I’m so and so friend, and the most irritating one – “she’s with so and so”. HALLLOOO – why can’t it be "HE’s with me"????

It doesn’t matter what the world (most of them are hypocrites and power hungry vultures anyway) think of me.

What matters is what my friends know of me and yet accept me for who I am: contrary, forever confused abt myself, at times irritating but someone who values their caring friendship, wonderful support and everlasting patience.

In them, I’ve found that home is not only where u grew up or am living now. Home can be where u are loved and cared - just like I feel at home too with them. Merci beaucoup, mon ami.